ups and downs

Last night Madison asked me if I remember my pictures (MRI) when I was a little girl like her. I told her I didn't have pictures like she does. So she asked about Austin's. I told her he didn't have them either. She doesn't understand why she has to have pictures.I really don't know how to explain it to her. I don't know how to explain why she has cancer when I don't understand it myself.

Madison did really well with the mask today

She was scared

She asked for a few more minutes before they put the mask over her face, several times (once for a quick kiss from me, that brought tears to several eyes)

She didn't want to lay and be held down, didn't want to sit a lap, she wanted to stand. Stand?

So I stood right beside her, as she stood and took little breaths thru the mask, waiting for her to collapse - hoping to catch her before she fell

No tears this time - at least none from Madison

The sedation was different - they gave her gas and a sleeping medication to help ease her awake

I asked to have her IV taken out before she woke up. one less thing for her to freak out about. she has had several MRI's with sedation and has always been ok

It took much longer for her to wake up this time, and when she did, she was sick

Pale and nauseous

We were release with a large bucket for the drive home (luckily it went unused)

When we got home Madison and I lay in my bed and slept the day away

Thankfully she woke up this afternoon feeling much better

J reviewed the scans and says they are clear. The official read is next week

I'm glad today is over, it sucks that Madison has to go through these

Today all the kids had dentist appointments. Madison was pretty brave this time. She stated her conditions as we were walking back to the chair. No boy doctor (her dentist is a "boy"), she wanted orange toothpaste, sun glasses before they turned the light on in her eyes, and she did not want them to tip the chair too far back. Once the dental hygienist agreed to her terms, then she would climb into the chair. She did great. I was concerned about her first permanent tooth taking it's time coming in, it’s been 5 months and it’s only about half way in. We were warned when she underwent her 30 radiation treatments as a 2 year old, that the radiation could cause her permanent teeth not to develop (seriously? what else does my princess have to go thru?). Dr M explained that it is normal for big girl teeth to take their time growing in, he also showed me the x-rays that her big girl teeth had developed and he thinks she will have another loose baby tooth soon, that another big girl tooth wants to come in. Madison favorite part is the water and the suction straw, she giggled each time she put her lips around the straw. Austin did great. I didn’t go back with him because well, he’s 12 and doesn’t need mom holding his hand. He got a clean check up. This kid did not get my teeth; he has only had one cavity ever. Zac had 4 cavities, all in-between his teeth. I think we need to focus on flossing with him.

Madison's MRI has finally been approved and is scheduled for Tuesday March 30. In just 12 days. Madison says that she will be a brave girl this time; she just doesn't want to be held down. So, I made a deal that I would help them do "the mask" (sedation) with her sitting up. Let just hope the doctors will agree to my deal or I am in trouble.

Time to get my princess ready for bed, i just have to break her away from Nick Jr. Wish me luck

xoxo
me

park day

 

Today we took Madison and Austin to the park
We had a Subway picnic
Rode scooters
Played at the playground
Climbed the grass hill
and took lots of pictures

I think the kids had fun.

Scheduling

Well, I have Madison's PCH Neuro-Oncology appointment scheduled for April 6. I am still working on getting approval for the MRI, but that usually is the week before the PCH appointment, so late March or early April. I expect everything is good. Madison is doing great, no "signs" anything is wrong. I will stay positive. Prayers, Positive thoughts, (however you choose to put it) are always welcome.

xoxo
me