i will miss

When we move I will miss our fireplace, floor to ceiling red brick. It produces almost no heat, but it was the first thing I fell in love with when we bought this house. And, I love finding Madison's added decorations on the mantel :) 

Last 5 books

I love to read. I love to escape into the adventures, romances, and fantasies, or just about anything. The last 5 books (series) I read…

Twilight Series – I was late getting into the vampire hype. I loved these books and was so glad I didn’t have to wait months/a year for the next one to come out. I’m currently reading The Host, so far so good.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl who played with Fire – I had a really hard time getting into The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, it took me months to read the first few chapters. Starting and Stopping, and starting over several times… I’m really glad I got thru it and finished the book. It was one of my favorites. I can not wait for The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nest to come out in paperback. I’m weird and like all books in a series to match – all paperback or all hardback.

Fallen – I thought this one was just ok. I will be getting the next book, Torment, soon and I just found out that there will be a 3rd book coming out June 14.  

Heaven’s Keep – I really enjoyed this one. I bought the book because I liked the cover and I am glad I did. I was not aware this is, I think, book 10 of a series so I am excited to start reading them from the beginning.

In the Woods and The Likeness – Loved theses. Love the characters. Loved the stories. And, another book I bought because I liked the cover. I can’t wait for

Faithful Place

to come out in paperback.

If you have a books you would like to suggest, I would love to hear them. Just leave a note in the comments. It’s pretty hit and miss picking a book based on liking the cover design :)

Stupid Cancer Stuff

i love sleeping pictures - this one has her "bink" -pink blanket, "daddy bear", and "mommy cat", the 3 things that she will not sleep without.

No creative into…


Madison’s MRI has been scheduled for Monday April 4 at 8:00. She will be monitored for an hour, and then will be sedated and the scan will start at 9:00. I’m glad the scheduling department is still able to get her in early in the day; those appointments are usually reserved for the younger kids because they are not able to eat or drink anything after dinner the night before the test. I’m fully aware that Madison is a young kid but she started fighting the stupid thing when she was only 19 months old, and there are so many that are even younger. So we are lucky to not be scheduled later in the day.

I have already talked to Madison about her MRI, and “the mask” that will be used to sedate her. She still hates even thinking about the mask, so I gave her the option of having an IV started and they can use that instead of the mask. She opted for the mask, and made me promise to buy super smelly chapstick that we can use to coat the inside to help cover the stinky gas.

Madison asked why she has to have MRI’s… I briefly explained that she when she was little she was sick, that she had something called cancer, and it was in her spine, that the doctors did surgery (twice) and gave her medicine (11 months of chemo and 33 radiation treatments) to make her better (she asked if that was the applesauce with the powder in it, she was only 2 when she was on chemo, how could she possibly remember that?) and the MRI’s are to make sure it still gone. I don’t think she really understood, honestly I don’t want her to have to understand. I just didn’t want to lie or hide the truth when she asked. After our talk, I snuck off to the bathroom and sobbed. It just sucks.

So now we wait, 13 days, and I just can’t help but worry. Like for the past couple days she has had a stuffy nose and that is part of her head, which is where her brain is, that is attached to the spinal cord…. I know it’s crazy but as soon as we get the letter that it is time to schedule her scans I just get that crazy. Luckily, she has an appointment with Dr Moss, (I got permission to use his name) her neurosurgeon, April 4th as well. So we don’t have to wait to get the results (that she is all clear, and an amazing little miracle girl, that some how after having 2 C-spine surgeries is still able to hold her head up – he says this every time :), oh, and that he will see us again in 6 months).

So, we could use prayers, positive thoughts, that Madison’s scans come back clean. Also that she is safe and protected while sedated, and that she doesn’t have too difficult of a time coming out of anesthesia. And, that she is not so terrified of having the mask used.

and he's off

J left this morning to start a job up north; the rest of us will follow as soon as the little ones are on summer break. J has travelled for work for the last couple years but for some reason this separation already feels harder. We will see him Saturdays and Sundays so really it's no different then the travelling he has done, and he is so much closer then many times before, but it feels so different. I miss him so much already. I can't wait to be settled and together again.

The kids are not happy about the move. Austin (my quiet one) doesn't say much; just that he is not excited. And Madison sobbed that she didn't want to move because she likes our house and will miss her room. J told Zac this morning and he was worried about missing the classes he registered for at the high school here. I hate upsetting them, but we are really hoping this is for the best, that they will adjust quickly, make friends fast and enjoy living in a small town.

I will miss our families. My parents, sisters, and J's parents live here in "the valley". We don't see them as often as we should, but they are close, and are always willing to help, and that's always been comforting. Sounds silly coming from a 34 year old, wanting to be close to home, but I do. I've promised my sister Alicia that I would keep my blog updated with pictures and stories about the kids, and made her promise to do the same (Alicia please keep to that promise, the girls are growing so fast and I am going to miss so much). Luckily, my big sister and I talk almost every day, I hope that continues, now if I can just get her to take some pictures, and maybe keep their family blog updated :) I will have to work on the other 2. Maybe I will be able to get them to blog too? What do you guys think?  I love them all and will miss being able to easily see everyone. I've promised the kids that we would visit often; I hope I am able to keep that promise.

I'm going to go and call the husband, i love being able to say that - husband, i miss him.

Oh, Alicia, as promised here are some pictures I took of Austin and Madison last week (Zac was at his mom's)