Stupid Cancer Stuff

i love sleeping pictures - this one has her "bink" -pink blanket, "daddy bear", and "mommy cat", the 3 things that she will not sleep without.

No creative into…


Madison’s MRI has been scheduled for Monday April 4 at 8:00. She will be monitored for an hour, and then will be sedated and the scan will start at 9:00. I’m glad the scheduling department is still able to get her in early in the day; those appointments are usually reserved for the younger kids because they are not able to eat or drink anything after dinner the night before the test. I’m fully aware that Madison is a young kid but she started fighting the stupid thing when she was only 19 months old, and there are so many that are even younger. So we are lucky to not be scheduled later in the day.

I have already talked to Madison about her MRI, and “the mask” that will be used to sedate her. She still hates even thinking about the mask, so I gave her the option of having an IV started and they can use that instead of the mask. She opted for the mask, and made me promise to buy super smelly chapstick that we can use to coat the inside to help cover the stinky gas.

Madison asked why she has to have MRI’s… I briefly explained that she when she was little she was sick, that she had something called cancer, and it was in her spine, that the doctors did surgery (twice) and gave her medicine (11 months of chemo and 33 radiation treatments) to make her better (she asked if that was the applesauce with the powder in it, she was only 2 when she was on chemo, how could she possibly remember that?) and the MRI’s are to make sure it still gone. I don’t think she really understood, honestly I don’t want her to have to understand. I just didn’t want to lie or hide the truth when she asked. After our talk, I snuck off to the bathroom and sobbed. It just sucks.

So now we wait, 13 days, and I just can’t help but worry. Like for the past couple days she has had a stuffy nose and that is part of her head, which is where her brain is, that is attached to the spinal cord…. I know it’s crazy but as soon as we get the letter that it is time to schedule her scans I just get that crazy. Luckily, she has an appointment with Dr Moss, (I got permission to use his name) her neurosurgeon, April 4th as well. So we don’t have to wait to get the results (that she is all clear, and an amazing little miracle girl, that some how after having 2 C-spine surgeries is still able to hold her head up – he says this every time :), oh, and that he will see us again in 6 months).

So, we could use prayers, positive thoughts, that Madison’s scans come back clean. Also that she is safe and protected while sedated, and that she doesn’t have too difficult of a time coming out of anesthesia. And, that she is not so terrified of having the mask used.