CURED

Today Madison had an appointment with Dr M (neurosurgeon). Madison's scans are clear, we guessed this already. There was a lot of other discussions about Dr M's move to Banner Desert, that he wanted his focus to be on the patient and not big business. Some where in this conversation Dr M said that he feels Madison is CURED. That we will continue cautiously, watch for signs, and continue 6 month scans for now... but he feels that the tumor is gone FOR GOOD. Dr M talked about lifting some of the limitaions that have been placed on Madison. For now, no tackle football, wrestling, gymnastics, or trampolines. Other then that we need to start letting her be a 5 year old girl. She needs to go to school, and play without limitations. I can't imagine a better day then today. We are incredibly blessed. So, I'm going to go enjoy time with my little angel's on earth.

Snake and Lizards

The bribe reward for Madison doing a great job during her MRI this week was a trip to Az Reptile. Last week, J stopped by there creepy crawly shop and asked if he could bring Madison in to hold a snake. They said to go ahead and bring her in. So......

Snake handling she did. And she loved it. (Madison has fallen in love with Bindi the Jungle Girl and all the reptiles Bindi gets to hold. She asked if she can have a snake in her room to scare her cousins play with.) I hear the guys at AZ Reptile were amazing, I didn't get to go. (dang that work thing). But J let me know that they were amazing. The were very patient with my princess. They let her hold several snakes, and lizards, and 2 of the cutest turtles that I hear grow quite large, like eat my midsize dog big (not that i think they would eat my dog but they get that big).

These are a few a the picture J took for me since I could not be there with them (sniff sniff). As you can see, they had a great time, she was in heaven and didn't want to leave. A big thank you to Az Reptile for giving my daughter her Bindi the Jungle Girl moment.

*** a little side note - the guys at AZ Reptile (blue shirt and tattoos in several pictures) didn't know that the visit to there shop was our again bribe reward for Madison going good in her MRI, they did not know that she had brain cancer, they didn't do this for any other reason then they are amazing people. Again thank you AZ Reptile for making Madison (and J's) day. There is a special place for people like you guys. ***

ups and downs

Last night Madison asked me if I remember my pictures (MRI) when I was a little girl like her. I told her I didn't have pictures like she does. So she asked about Austin's. I told her he didn't have them either. She doesn't understand why she has to have pictures.I really don't know how to explain it to her. I don't know how to explain why she has cancer when I don't understand it myself.

Madison did really well with the mask today

She was scared

She asked for a few more minutes before they put the mask over her face, several times (once for a quick kiss from me, that brought tears to several eyes)

She didn't want to lay and be held down, didn't want to sit a lap, she wanted to stand. Stand?

So I stood right beside her, as she stood and took little breaths thru the mask, waiting for her to collapse - hoping to catch her before she fell

No tears this time - at least none from Madison

The sedation was different - they gave her gas and a sleeping medication to help ease her awake

I asked to have her IV taken out before she woke up. one less thing for her to freak out about. she has had several MRI's with sedation and has always been ok

It took much longer for her to wake up this time, and when she did, she was sick

Pale and nauseous

We were release with a large bucket for the drive home (luckily it went unused)

When we got home Madison and I lay in my bed and slept the day away

Thankfully she woke up this afternoon feeling much better

J reviewed the scans and says they are clear. The official read is next week

I'm glad today is over, it sucks that Madison has to go through these

Today all the kids had dentist appointments. Madison was pretty brave this time. She stated her conditions as we were walking back to the chair. No boy doctor (her dentist is a "boy"), she wanted orange toothpaste, sun glasses before they turned the light on in her eyes, and she did not want them to tip the chair too far back. Once the dental hygienist agreed to her terms, then she would climb into the chair. She did great. I was concerned about her first permanent tooth taking it's time coming in, it’s been 5 months and it’s only about half way in. We were warned when she underwent her 30 radiation treatments as a 2 year old, that the radiation could cause her permanent teeth not to develop (seriously? what else does my princess have to go thru?). Dr M explained that it is normal for big girl teeth to take their time growing in, he also showed me the x-rays that her big girl teeth had developed and he thinks she will have another loose baby tooth soon, that another big girl tooth wants to come in. Madison favorite part is the water and the suction straw, she giggled each time she put her lips around the straw. Austin did great. I didn’t go back with him because well, he’s 12 and doesn’t need mom holding his hand. He got a clean check up. This kid did not get my teeth; he has only had one cavity ever. Zac had 4 cavities, all in-between his teeth. I think we need to focus on flossing with him.

Madison's MRI has finally been approved and is scheduled for Tuesday March 30. In just 12 days. Madison says that she will be a brave girl this time; she just doesn't want to be held down. So, I made a deal that I would help them do "the mask" (sedation) with her sitting up. Let just hope the doctors will agree to my deal or I am in trouble.

Time to get my princess ready for bed, i just have to break her away from Nick Jr. Wish me luck

xoxo
me

park day

 

Today we took Madison and Austin to the park
We had a Subway picnic
Rode scooters
Played at the playground
Climbed the grass hill
and took lots of pictures

I think the kids had fun.

Scheduling

Well, I have Madison's PCH Neuro-Oncology appointment scheduled for April 6. I am still working on getting approval for the MRI, but that usually is the week before the PCH appointment, so late March or early April. I expect everything is good. Madison is doing great, no "signs" anything is wrong. I will stay positive. Prayers, Positive thoughts, (however you choose to put it) are always welcome.

xoxo
me

Photo Heavy

So, there is no way to catch up on the last 3 months...
I will say everything was great!
Madison turned 5 - and we are loving it.
Austin turned 12 - he is, always has been such a sweet kid. I keep hearing just wait... I hope he stays just the way he is. sweet. imaginative. energetic. loving....
The holidays were great,
I got a new lens from J
here are a few recent shots:

J and I took Madison on a picnic last week

J and Madison Feeding the ducks

Madison and her daddy

(he is so cute)


Madison and J


Madison (and J's boot's)


Madison


Big, BIG bite


I am learning not to cut the subject of the photo's head off

Practice Practice Practice

J took a few pictures of me and Madison


Madison loves the swings, almost as much as the tire swing

which was occupied by much bigger kids, who don't share well.

I took a few more pictures of Madison. The boys hate to have there picture taken. I think that may change with Austin. He was helping me update my background to my blog and he asked me to count how many pictures of his were on my blog. Not very many. I told him that he never lets me take his picture. He said that he would let me take a few more, "but not a lot". too cute. I hope he does.

16 days

just 16 days

It is not fair how fast the years go by

this was a good year, a really good year; so maybe that’s why it’s a little harder to let it go

maybe it because 5 is just too old, not a baby.

maybe it’s because 4 is awesome…

you are hilarious; you keep me and daddy laughing everyday with the crazy things you say.

you are loving; hugs, kisses, cuddles, squeezing in the middle, “family sandwich” (daddy promises to remind you of this at your sweet sixteen party), “I love you mommy” “I love you daddy”… all the time

you are sensitive, mommy and daddy have to watch how we word things and our tone with you, if we say something the wrong way, or just a little too harsh, it breaks your little heart.

you are thoughtful and kind, always willing to share anything you have, even if it’s the last one.

you are stubborn, so very stubborn. I hope you keep this. It has it good side and bad side, but it’s you, and we love it.

you are confident, you know you are a beautiful and talented little girl, another trait I hope you keep.

you have a love–fight relationship with your brothers, but mostly you love them and they love you too.

you love playing legos and paper dolls with mommy and daddy – you have so many rules, we have to do just as you do or just as you say. daddy is the blue doll, mommy is purple and you are pink - always. The dolls are triplets so they all have to dress the same, and you dictate what they wear. with legos, we have to build houses or beds for the paper dolls and again we have to follow your lead. It is so much fun playing with you.

you love to scrapbook with mommy, right now everything we make has to have a butterfly.

you don’t play with babies as much as you use to. right now it’s doesn’t seem you have a favorite thing to play, you are all over the place, one minute it’s legos, then paper dolls, then littlest pet shop, then painting, then computer or tv time… you don’t sit still or stay with one thing very long.

you still suck your thumb, not as often as before, mostly when you are tired or nervous, I haven’t really tried to break you of this habit, i’m hoping before kindergarten.

you still sleep with your bink, absolutely have to have it. I think you have only gone 2 nights in your almost 5 years with out it and they were both this year, and they were very hard nights.

you love fruit and veggies, healthy foods more then junk.

we went on your Make a Wish trip back in April and you are still talking about it, you had a blast (we all did). I was a great family trip. It was so fun watching you experience everything there

you can write most of your letters and some of you numbers, you can sound out/read short 3 letter words. mommy and daddy think you are just the smartest little girl

i know with each year we have something special to look forward to, I know that with 5 you will become more independent, that you have kindergarten to experience, that we will have more fun family trips, and maybe ballet lessons…

but I think I am going to hold on as tight I can to the next 16 days of 4.

i love you baby girl,

love, mom

fall

I love fall

I love Halloween

I love cooler weather

I love the "beautiful light" (this was mentions in a blog I love to read) the reflections, the light

I love sweaters and jeans and boots

I love trips to the pumpkin patch and to the zoo

Happy Fall

able to breathe

recovery, best with a water gun

I wanted to update with a quick post. Madison had her MRI Tuesday everything was, well, the same as any other MRI. She hates them, she is afraid of the mask, she is such a fighter, and this time she actually ran out of the room, straight to the safety of her dad and his steel toed shoes waiting just outside. She got her one more kiss this time, and lots of hugs. Then mean mom peeled her out of the safety of her dads arms back to the room with the really big scary machine, and all the doctors, the masks, and the stinky gas. Yeah, that’s mom’s job, my job. I hold her down, hold her hands, hold her face, whatever I can do to help the doctors get her to sleep. I choose to do this. I want her to know that she is not alone. I’m there when she (loosely put) falls asleep and there when she wakes up. I promise her this every time, that I will be there. I wouldn’t trade that. I think she really counts on her dad guarding the door, her security, her safe place, and me holding her, her hands, keeping promises. We take our jobs very seriously.

Anyway, I’m totally rambling. We got the results, quickly, usually we have to wait a week or so, her scans were quoting Dr M “normal”. That’s good! It means her scans were clear. Or… no tumor! nothing spreading! nothing growing! no cancer!

She is such a amazing, special little girl. I understand this more and more and I know it’s said way too often, but I know she’s a miracle. I was really scared this time. I almost lost faith. I don’t even know if almost if right, I think, for a minute I did. I’m glad all that can get push back were it belongs and we can focus on Fall, Halloween, cool weather, Madison 5th birthday, some really important things that are coming up.

Thanks again for all the positive thoughts and prayers.

waiting......

patiently waiting

with electronic entertainment

Madison has given me a few scares this past week, falling, fevers…. Well last night she gave her dad a scare too. Last night J and I were watching TV, all the kids were sleeping, about 11pm Madison got out of bed and fell to the ground crying. I asked her if she fell out of bed, she didn’t, I knew she didn’t. She was holding her head, telling me her head hurt. J and I decided that it was a good idea to get an MRI just so we can make sure everything is like it should be, to make sure that Madison’s cancer is not back – falling and headaches are not warning signs that should be ignored. It’s really hard to think that is a possibility. It really sucks to have to think about it. Today Madison had an appointment with Dr M (ped). She did a neruo check up. Madison did good, she followed directions, jumped on one foot… Dr M said that Madison did ok, nothing alarming, but that she was not up to speed with where other kids here age would be in some of the coordination tests. So she clumsy, not a huge surprise (right mom). And after a few hours of approval issues, Madison is scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning at 9am. It is a STAT order so we should have the results sometime tomorrow. So tonight she is eating Wendy’s with her brothers – her request, she will relax, watch iCarly, and off to bed for a early morning tomorrow. I’ll keep you updated.

Prayers, positive thoughts, (however you want to put it) are always welcome.

Happy Birhtday Zac

yesterday was Zachary's birhtday, 12 years old now. Happy Birhtday Zac. So for his birthday, J and I gave him and Austin cell phones. (Zac will get the same thing Austin gets for his birthday too, lucky boys get to celebrate twice). Both the boys are thrilled and, as most of you know, have been calling and texting everyone all night last night and all day today. They are 2 very happy boys.
Madison on the other hand is very upset. She wants a phone too. We've tried to explain that she is only 4 and that she will just have to wait. But like I said we've tried... it's not really working and she is still mad. She says she never gets anything... ever. To continue to prove her point, I took the boys to Target today to pick up a couple things for school. One of them, a lock for their PE lockers. And the mean mom that I am would not let Madison get one too. (in my defense, i think she would hurt herself with it and am just trying to protect her). So not only is she mad that she doesn't get a phone, but now she can't have a lock. She is so deprived. (not really, I told her she could pick out a toy. She didn't want one, she wanted a cell phone and a lock.)
So other then that, school starts a week from Monday. J starts his new job the same day. It will take some getting used to but it will be a good thing once we get our schedules down. I have started shopping for my Christmas book, that has been a lot of fun. I have a ton of ideas, and with J's new schedule I will have some free nights to start getting things together.
well that is all for now, I'm slacking on updating pictures. Actually I am slacking on taking pictures. It's too hot to go outside and I'm almost never happy with the ones taken inside. I will work on it.

Christmas in July

Like I said before. I have Cristmas on the brain. Not sure if it is wishing for the cooler weather (I am so done with the 117 degree weather), or looking forward to all the fun family times. I have started looking for all the fun stuff to make on of these . I'm really excited. I love the idea of having this book to document the month of december, a book that I will make (oh the pressure). J even came up with a great title - A December to Remember. So the plan is to get shopping (i love scrap shopping), get everything together and ready so all I will have to do is put a page together each night in december. I have a list of ideas started - like baking, PCH Zoo day, the lights at the church, Mom's awesome cookie bar (totally stealing the recipe to scrap), 12 Days of Christmas (a family tradition since I was a kid), our trip to Greer (first time seeing snow for my 11 year old and my 4 year old)... I think I will have enough to keep me busy.

Wish me Luck

Scrappy Update

Yesterday I took a class called Love notes, a card making class at a local scrappy store. I had a blast, the instructor was awesome, the girls were so friendly, and oh so helpful (Thanks Pat, Erin and Kelli) I hope to take a class with them again. The theme of this class was Christmas in July. That was perfect for me, I have had Christmas on the brain for the past month. So I decide to try and post the card I worked so hard on. I have never scanned or posted scrappy stuff and I think the different dimensions are what make part of the scans blurry, but you should get the idea.

I love the fun, cute colors on this card













this is a super cute gift card holder - I was not
able to get a good scan of the middle,
maybe I will try taking a picture another time

















this is a fun simple card
I love the traditional Christmas designs and colors

this was the card the rest of the girls worked on
while they were waiting for me to catch up
I finished this today with Madison (she is a
scrapbooker in the making)

















I am so excited for the next cards class, I never knew how much fun it would be.
Next time I will update about the adorable kiddos - pictures and all

New Look

It was time for a new look. I need some motivation to start blogging again. I have so many problems with my computer freezing, I would just get frustrated and shut it down. Well I think everything is fixed and it's time to get going again. This summer has gone by so fast. The boys will be back in school in just a few weeks, Junior High. It's really hard for me to believe that Austin is going to Jr High. I still see him as my little boy.
Well before I press my luck with this thing, I am going to try to save this and I will update more on the summer, the school year to come, and some scrappy stuff I have done soon.